After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
