Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
