i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
