just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
His hands were made for my vagina.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I need a beard to bite.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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