i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
