You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
