i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Randomize
