It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
