Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Randomize
