bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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