Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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