I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
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