and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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