We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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