i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
