so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
