I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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