I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
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