yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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