he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
