I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
