boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
