I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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