you're like a bully in the Christmas story
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
