You're so nebulous sometimes
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
