One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
