I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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