my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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