sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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