dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
