I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
