reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
