he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
now i know why i became what i already was.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Bring me that man meat
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
