Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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