$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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