it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
