literally had 100 drinks last night.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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