they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
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