Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
