spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
