Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
