It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
