Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
