Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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