First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Randomize
