oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
So squirting runs in the family.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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