Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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