I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
