Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
