I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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