i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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